but gallileo, we've never thought that way before ...

So the gay person says, we're baptized.

And the non-gay person huffs, some murderers are baptized.

And the gay person thinks, first of all, I never murdered anybody. And second of all, that commandment did make the top ten. And thirdly, the murderer for whatever reason chose that action to hurt somebody. And the gay person, or at least this gay person and my experience is that many others feel the same way, discovered one day that their attraction was to the same sex. It is who we are -- essential, like the color of hair, our eyes or our physical make-up.

Most of those who reject us never get to the essence idea. For them, it is just a choice. And of course, we always want to know if they chose their straightness, was it on their menu of options for life, did they pick a over b, even though that was a tough one. They wanted b, but they were good and chose a.

Here are some of our choices: Electric shock therapy, zapping the genitals to make you think gay = painful, straight = I don't get zapped. Accusing our parents of not being good parents (too indifferent, too controlling - pick one). Gather at AA like meetings where we learn proper gender behavior and admit our faulty ways (this almost never works and when they make poster boys from participants of these groups, they often have to pull the posters back down because the boys fall off the wagon so to speak -- but it is often used as an example of what we could do if we just would). Be celibate and fast and pray, hoping that it will go away (do straight people even imagine what that would be like for them trying to not be straight?). Lie, marry someone from the other sex, and sneak around on the side (for most, the pre-1969 choice, still time honored though). Deny that Christ loves us and gave himself for us, skip out on the church and live a faithless life. Kill ourselves.

This is not an exhaustive list. But it covers a lot of what folk I know have experienced in their dealing with being gay and being Christian. It doesn't include a young friend in college who had the demon of homosexuality cast out of him by his pastor and the deacons of his church. Years later, I read the headline in a statewide Texas newspaper Waco Pastor's Homosexuality Rocks City. It was the pastor who prayed over my friend. He got caught for a second time having an affair with a male college student. I don't know whatever happened to my friend, we lost touch after college, but the day I read that newspaper I hoped he had survived all that drama and gotten on with his life.

Finally some of us believe it when Christ tells us that he has come so that we might have life, and have it more abundantly.

There is nothing virtuous inherent in being gay. There is nothing virtuous inherent in being straight. (It's not like you guys worked very hard to acquire your straightness).

As Christians, we understand virtue as part of grace, the gift of God's love in Christ. We are responsible for our actions, for our choices, for living with integrity.

On reflection I am grateful for this past year. As awful as the pain and anger is around all of us who are in the Anglican Communion, and as threatening as it feels for the Episcopal Church (of which I am grateful for the place it has provided for me for much of my adult life), I am hopeful that this is one of those moments when people, gay and straight, are dealing with what it means to be Christian, here and now. I read and I listen. I've already admitted to wringing my hands a few times.

I believe that gay or straight, we will all be different when its over.