the theology of grass

Yesterday afternoon, in order to relax, I dug out dandelions out of the yard. I got most of them out complete, but did break some off some (alas, failure).

This is a good time to pull them. The earth is still soft, the little buggers have yellow flowers to show where they are, and I don't have to worry about spreading seed by shaking up their little puff balls of seed. The raised earth where I've pried them lose will easily repair itself in this period of gardening grace.

I don't know why pulling dandelions relaxes me, but there is something rewarding about wrestling with the devil, even tiny ones, and getting them out of my yard and garden. I hold their puny roots up, victorious, before I toss them in a pile to throw away.

Frankly, I wouldn't mind the dandelions and yard violets and something locally called yard ivy if I didn't have to think about selling the homestead someday. Their presence in my perennial beds, however, is another story. At that point, I suppose I am a Calvinist, refusing to tolerate their presence in the garden. How slothful and sinful I would be to let that happen.

Grass, too, is a religion in these parts, one turned over to professionals, usually requiring two teams, fertilizer specialists and grass cutters.

I've crossed a line in the front yard, reaching a point where beds, shrubs and trees take up as much space as the grass. I like to think of this as using grass in design, but I know that this is blasphemous. There is plenty of grass in the backyard, despite large trees, a bigger vegetable garden and my shade garden. But I am sure I will face the judgment of a grass purist who will look at what I've done and think, but where's the grass.

I just need to get my grass into some kind of decent, boring shape, hooked on the chemical addictions that keep dealers at the big box stores in business, not to mention the specialists who charge extra for these services.

Amateur that I am concerning grass, I am too snobbish and cheap to go the whole nine yards of grass worship. I do this work myself. The specialists can go about their grass drug peddling ways.